Starts with Goodbye

I know there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.

I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna bring me down,
like falling when you're trying to fly,
It's sad but sometimes
Moving on with the rest of your life,
Start with goodbye,

So, I got some pretty interesting new yesterday that has effected me more than I thought it would.
Nate is getting married...we have only been divorced for 3 months now, not only that, but in 6 more days he and I would have been married for 2 years. I know I get to think about all the blessings that have come from this experience and press forward in life. I know it does no good to walk backwards in life- staring at what was and ignoring what is infront of me right now. I know I am better off with out him...the frustrating part is, I know all of this!!! So what is it that is holding me back and bringing the feelings of heartbreak back???
I guess its just a low blow...If he can get engaged 3 months after our divorce it shows the love I "thought" he had for me really wasnt deep at all. And since that is the case I know I deserve way more than what he would have ever given to me...
ONE DAY, I know things will all be ok and I will look back at this time and be greatful for the lessons learned. In the mean time...it hurts